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, originally uploaded by LeahK.

Coming Home

It's happening the way it always happens. I go to Italy or fall in love or spend a weekend with dozens of my favorite online friends and then when I get back in front of my computer and stare at the empty screen, all I can think is DUUUUUUUUUHHH and I end up either writing nothing at all or little snippets of memory about it over the next three years.

I can't describe this post-BlogHer state any better than to say I feel hungover after an entire weekend of boozing it up, chain-smoking non-filtered cigarettes, and dancing on tables with strange men, except, of course, there was no drinking or smoking (at least by me), and sadly very little dancing and very few men, although most of the ones I met were strange, with their not-so-slick marketing pitches and insincere "Sooo...what do you blog about?" And yet, although it's not my liver and my lungs and my legs that have had too much, it's my brain and heart and pancreas--all suffering in the wake of an overdose on too much of a good thing. So much brilliance, so much love, way too many doughnuts and candy bars and caffienated beverages and promotional Dum-Dums. By Saturday afternoon I was turning down free cupcakes. FREE CUPCAKES! All I wanted was a cucumber and an ice water, for the love of god! Can anyone help a girl out?

For the last two days I've been trying to wrap my head around what made this conference different from the last two (which were very different from each other in very obvious ways). Overall, the pace was much more manageable (no shuttles or planes or cabs to catch, thank all the patron saints of pregnant ladies), the location much friendlier (no schlepping forty pounds of swag between the conference hall and the hotel several times a day), and the company much more like returning to summer camp with the same group of girls I had such a good time with the year before (which equals less pressure, albeit less opportunity, to make new friends as well). But I did make new friends, and made better friends of old friends, and the cumulative effect of so much goodness, goodwill, and good hair is enough to make me want to liquify that feeling and dump it into a bathtub and soak in it for the next few hours or weeks instead of trying to pound it out here for an audience.

(I realize that in my effusion I am being regrettably vague, but it's the most I can do now, so please forgive. Stories will pop out one by one when you least expect them, though, so fear not; this can be your reason to stay tuned if you're not already invested in that whole Wee Wombat thing (Big Ultrasound on Friday!!!).)

I think the most significant difference between this conference and years past has been that I came away almost unmanageably inspired to be a better blogger, writer, friend, and mother. I love what I do here, and I love that it sometimes involves little more than telling the story about that one time the kitten pooped on his own shoulder, but being around people who regularly do more with their websites, and more with their lives, is hard to ignore and not at least make me question whether I can do more, be more.

The community keynote on Friday night blew my mind, and when I wasn't laughing or crying, I was laughing so hard I was crying--an uncontrollable ugly cry, with facial contortions and everything, something I don't think I've ever felt in quite that way before. Although my uncharacteristic PDE (public display of emotion) was certainly related to pregnancy hormones (see also: inability to control my tears while in the presence of my furry pal Grover), it was also just a testament to what people are doing out there on their sites, with the same Wordpress and Typepad and five-year-old cobwebby Movable Type templates (ahem) most of us open every day. If you're looking for new sites to read, start with the community keynoters; you won't be disappointed. Of course, if you're looking for more stories about poopy cats, you know where to find me.

In the meantime, my little corner of BlogHer is up on Flickr for your viewing enjoyment, and I don't care what they say about a picture being worth a thousand words; this conference--these one thousand attendees--can not be captured in photographs alone. The words...the words...the words are coming.

Simon Says - "Live Blogging From BlogHer 08"

Hello, internets! That's right, I'm doin' it real-time.

"But Simon," you muse, "you're not a HER, you're a HE! Why are you at BlogHer?"

Yes, dear and faithful readers of Leah's blog, I am here. The cloud of estrogen hangs thick and low here in the iRobot lounge at the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco, and I am enveloped in it (everyone laughs when I take a deep breath through my nose and breathily say "estrogen!" so I'm going to keep doing it until it gets old.)

I have hit the three motherlodes of swag. This doesn't count the drawings for things like computers or vacuum cleaners, I'm talking plain free stuff.

#3 - USB Flash drives that are also a bracelet. From PBSkids.org. One gig, wear it on your arm. Super cool. I will keep one intact, and I will disect the other one, and modify it. Apparently it has kid-friendly software already installed on it, but by the time Wombat is using a computer, USB will be the equivalent of a 6 inch floppy. So these belong to Daddy.

#2 - This one is super cool, and timely, since California has gone hands free... I got a Bluetooth phone headset from Zivio. It's called "The Boom." I haven't used it yet, but I'm already a fan. The design is as nice as I've seen. I often rant about how douchey bluetooth headsets are, but this one is very swanky. Also, they say it has many good functions, plus high quality sound. We shall see, we shall see.

#1 - I am scheduled to get my video taken with GROVER! Yes, Grover from Sesame Street. I will be taking Leah along for the ride. If I may... *clears throat* ... FUCK YEAH!!!!! GROVER!!!!!! Please forgive. I am excited. I was in the Sesame Street lounge earlier, signing up, and I saw a real live muppet being operated, and I got all teary. Super cool.

Nice to see friends again, and nice to meet some familiar faces for the first time. I have to say, this blog thing really is Leah's world, not mine, but I have been meeting some genuinely interesting and nice people. Makes me want to either become a woman, or start my own blog. More on that later...

As I said, this is Leah's world, not mine, so I will sign off now.

PS. Amanda - this place sucks. You ain't missing a thing. Plus, everyone is actually a total jerk. Also, it turns out that one of the panel topics is "Why Canada Sucks," so you'd really find yourself feeling victimized and indignant. Don't worry, I've been picketing on behalf of you and ALL Canadians.

Deluge

BlogHer'08 started early for me, punctuated with the smiling, waving, jumping-up-and-down, as-wonderful-in-real-life-as-she-is-online Angella at SFO, fresh from Canada with her giant, Canada-sized suitcase. Does she have an accent? Yah, she shoor does! It's darling, though, and so is she. And I'm not just saying that because she brought me a package of Mr. 2 Bigs and some Kindereggs.

From the airport we drove (ahem, Simon drovechauffeured us) to a Girlfriend Gaming Party (wha?) co-hosted by two Major Industry Powerhouses: Nintendo and Holly Burns. Basically, we threw ourselves across plush lounge furniture in a Potrero Hill loft and played video games until we couldn't feel our thumbs, and then, after the arduous work of eating free food, drinking free drinks, and socializing with awesome friends, they rewarded our efforts with free Nintendo DS Lites (and a cartridge(?) for the game that made us all feel depressed and stupid, NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING because FREE STUFF)! In the contest for this weekend's best swag, Nintendo has taken an early lead, much like I did playing Mario Kart with my little mushroom baby.

And speaking of my little mushroom baby, that party was also where the weekend's much-anticipated belly-rubbing began in earnest. No one at work or on the street has dared breach my personal space bubble during the pregnancy, but from here until Saturday night, I'm the People's Belly, yours to do with as you may. I have half a mind to put a guest book under my shirt just so I can have a record of Who Has Touched Me. If there were extra room, I might try to fit one of those smashed-penny machines, so belly-touchers could have their own I Felt the Fetus souvenirs for their scrapbooks.

Here is where I would write about hosting Angella and HeatherB (repeat four times to the tune of "Let It Be") last night and then showing them the parts of the city that feature burritos, alleyway murals, and H&M...but oh my lord I am SO VERY TIRED already and BlogHer hasn't even officially begun. My morning of tour-guiding was fun, though, in that I didn't crash my car into anything, I didn't get lost, and I didn't cry; success! I also tried really hard not to feel sad that these ladies don't live close enough to come over for drinks and fezzes once a month, but in that I earned an epic FAIL. Dear Internet: Why do you bring us together only to tear us apart again?

Finally, and this isn't a downer so much as a Gee, Isn't It Strange How Life Works moment, but this is the week I was due to give birth to Baby 1.0, aka July Baby, aka Proto Baggins. Incidentally, the current baby, aka Wee Wombat, aka the thing that goes bump in the night, is due right around the time I miscarried Baby 1.0. I'm reflective but not sad, but mostly I'm grateful to have a baby in my belly and be among friends this week. Wish you were all here.

p.s. to Amanda: It's kind of ridiculous how much we've talked about you already! Know that you are missed and on our minds, and we'll see you next year, if not sooner, pretty lady.